I’d spend all night losing sleep.

The days are starting to run together. My brain is over-exhausted.

Lately I’ve developed a lovely habit of  managing to really piss people off, and then get really sad and quiet, and then I don’t talk. And I will listen to sad music that doesn’t help me feel better in the slightest. But for now, I am okay. I took a nap in the grass. I didn’t fall asleep in school. I’m not wallowing. Things are okay.

I love how fast everything changes. My feelings, people, thoughts. It all whirls around, over and over again. When I want it all to stop, it can’t. I think that is a good thing. Today I went to school and wanted to sleep the whole time. This seems to be a pattern. At AYS, I felt kind of out of it. Oh well. It’s just Monday after all.

Weekends are just for moping.

Maybe I’m not a real person. Maybe I don’t exist. Maybe everything is a dream, and I will never wake up. I feel like it is, but not a good dream. A scary, confusing one. The kind that when you were little, would awaken you at night, and then go sleep in your parent’s bed. But when the sun came up in the morning, everything was alright and breakfast was made and people were happy. This is not the way things are any more. I don’t know if I want them to go back, but I wish they could be different.

Sometimes I want to run away to the forest in my back yard and stay there forever and ever and ever.

My eyes hurt, mister.

It is way too often that I get the feeling of wanting to give up on everyone and everything. Not having to worry of think would be so much simpler. Sadly, I don’t have that choice. I just want to go off the radar to a place where I can appreciate the world for what it is worth, instead of being forced to cram my brain until I want to scream. Today was alright. I got oodles of letters, but that is the only good thing that occurred. My eyes are hurting and begging me to let them close, but I am resisting the urge. Bad idea.

This was the best day in a very, very long time.

The things that people say make the biggest impact…